Refining, refining, refining...

It's already the end of July.  The summer has gone quickly, but I am very ready to head off to Kenya, and I am excited to say that God has provided all of my needed support money!  Thank you to all who had a part in this, and please continue to keep my trip in prayer.  

The summer has been a challenge in many ways, but not necessarily in the ways I would have expected.  Interning at my home church has been a great experience with little setbacks or difficulties; God has really blessed my time there.  However, God has been using much of the summer to stretch and challenge me spiritually.  

Refining, refining, refining...an older friend told me at the beginning of the summer that the purest Gold is refined around 21 times.  That's just a metal my friends; we are human beings; living souls with thoughts, emotions, feelings, scars—and

 and the list continues.  I want to ask us all something; how do we view refinement in our lives?  Sure, we know it is a good thing and that it makes us stronger, better, more mature, etc, but when push comes to shove let's be honest—refinement is not fun.  It hurts, and I know that I am generally a lot more angry or confused with God during times of growth and refining than I am grateful or excited.

A continuing prayer of mine this summer has been to not only understand and believe in God’s peace and freedom intellectually but to KNOW God’s peace and freedom in my life.  I have prayed for peace and freedom, but most of the time I've felt less at peace and by no means free from different struggles in my life.  This has caused me a lot of frustration, but I have begun to see more clearly throughout the past few months that God is not interested in giving us peace and freedom as if they are little packets of experience or emotion; God is interested in giving us Himself. 

Pray for peace…God will show you that He is your peace.  Pray for freedom…God will show you that freedom comes from knowing Him.  When I pray for peace and freedom my focus is often on the things I am getting from God rather than on knowing God Himself.  I’m not saying that God doesn't ever want to make things easier or ease or struggles, but do we want these things more than God?  Is He our peace, our freedom?  This isn't something we naturally say “yes” to, and this isn't something we teach ourselves.  This is why we need refinement.

God is a jealous God.  He made us, loves us passionately, pursues us endlessly and has the patience and humility to do this in a way that doesn't force us to come to him.  He lets us get angry at Him; He lets us falsely accuse Him of abandoning us, all the while loving us far too much to take our struggles, our pain, or refining fires away, because if we’re serious about knowing His peace and freedom then He will not settle for anything less than answering these prayers completely—peace and freedom are complete only in Him, apart from our circumstances. 

So…what do we do in the meantime?  What do we do when we recognize that true peace and freedom come only through knowing Jesus Christ; when we really want this but still haven’t seemed to realized it; when God just doesn't seem to be enough; when we seem worse off, crushed, weighed down because of everything else that we want for our own lives—and all the while the rest of the world seems to be doing just fine without this crushing burden to seek out a God who promises to be the “giver of all good things”?  I’m not entirely sure, because this is where I am many days.  However, I do know that holding tightly to God’s promises and commands—even when everything else seems to contradict them—while often more difficult and tiring, has always been worth the fight.  It will always be worth it, and so what we can do is continue to come humbly before the God of the Universe every morning to ask for the strength and faith to keep believing the truth that He is for us and more than capable of giving us what is best for us.  We can find joy in the midst of our journeys by coming together openly and honestly and choosing to praise God together, affirming His plan in each of our lives.  Hebrews 12:1 says that “since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”  We are not in the fire alone, nor are we told to endure it alone.  We are to endure—to run—together.  It’s not just about me running the race; it’s about us running the race.

My prayer is that all of you reading this—including myself—will have the courage and faith to keep running; to take God for His word and to really KNOW the peace and freedom that come from seeking and loving the God of the universe, above everyone and everything else.  Maybe then we’ll even begin to head into the refining fires of our lives with gratitude and anticipation.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but...against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

It's been a crazy but good couple of weeks!  From June 4th-7th I traveled to AIM's national headquarters in Peachtree City, GA for short term orientation where I met 12 other individuals who will be serving from 5 weeks to a year all throughout Eastern Africa (homeschooling in Mozambique, physical therapy with special needs orphans in Uganda, working in an airplane hanger in Kenya, etc.).  It is amazing to see how in only a few days such strong friendships were formed.  Preparing to serve the Lord intellectually and spiritually really has a way of bringing the Body of Christ together.

My time in GA was a very encouraging and exciting time as the reality of my trip began to set in and as I was able to pray and join in supporting the work of other short-term missionaries.  At the same time, the reality of spiritual attack and oppression has never been more evident to me.  It's easy to forget what Paul tells the Ephesians: that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).  I repeat, "and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Here in America we live in a society that seeks to understand everything rationally.  We often fail to acknowledge the reality of spiritual warfare; or, if we do believe in this we would rather ignore it and leave that to places like Africa.  Yes...there is A LOT of spiritual warfare throughout Africa (which is why your prayers are VITALLY important before and during my time over there), but the spiritual forces we fight against are just as present here in our daily lives.  While the reality of spiritual darkness and oppression may be recognized and accepted more openly overseas, America is daily assaulted by what I like to call "undercover darkness."  This darkness takes the form of depression, anxiety, sexual messages and ideologies and even the complacency of "The American Dream" and "The Good Life."  We are under attack, and the scariest part is that most of us don't even realize that we are.

The flip side of this, however, is the reality of John 16:33: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  Christ has conquered sin and death; HE has ultimate authority over this world and the spiritual realms, and we are called to "put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground..." (Ephesians 6:13).  Are we arming ourselves with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit?  All of these things root themselves in the reality of Christ and His victory over sin and death.  When we acknowledge this and equip ourselves for battle, darkness stands no chance.

But...there is one more thing we are told to do.  "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18).  What is our greatest weapon?  Prayer.  Our direct link with the almighty and sovereign God.  Prayer calls forth the reality of Christ and His victory in our lives and in the world around us.  What are we to do when sin and temptation bear down upon us?  Pray.  What are we to do when peace seems far away?  Pray.  What are we to do when God's promises seem alive and well?  Pray all the more in thanksgiving.  Prayer--it is ESSENTIAL for everything we do.

And so I ask all of you to take the intentional effort to pray.  Pray for the short-term missionaries who have already left for Africa; pray for me in the time leading up to my trip; pray for those who live around you here in America.  Pray alone; pray together.  Be prepared to face the reality of spiritual warfare, but face this with the confidence of Jesus Christ and what He has already accomplished on our behalf.  Pray without ceasing.  

This coming Wednesday, June 4th I'll be heading down to Atlanta for a few days of orientation and short-term mission preparation.  God is doing a lot of cool stuff already this summer as He prepares me for the fall, and I'm excited to see what He has in store for next week!

Recently I have been overwhelmed with the total power and truth of the Gospel in our lives.  The Gospel is literally our life; the reason we have freedom and redemption;  totally undeserved yet freely offered.  This is our ONLY foundation, yet it is completely secure.  It's a reality that I don't consider enough of the time, but one that makes every day work living!

Support letters are printed and coming around!  Prayer as well as financial support for the fall would be much appreciated.  Pray for AIC Plainsview and the people I will be ministering to and with, and please also pray for God to prepare my heart in the months leading up to my trip.

The financial cost for my trip is $5,985, and all support must be received by August 4th.  If you would like to support me financially you can either mail me a check made out to "Africa Inland Mission" (please do not have my name anywhere on the check), or you can go to http://www.aimint.org/usa, click the "give" tab, then the "online giving" option and search for my name.

In the meantime I am beginning work as an intern at my home church, Indian Valley Faith Fellowship.  Prayer would be appreciated as I transition from college life to home life.  I can already sense that God has a lot to teach me in the coming months--particularly about patience, confidence, identity and trust.  My prayer is that I will face this growth with joy rather than fear or resentment.

My blog is up and running, and things are being set into motion for my three month trip to Nairobi, Kenya this Fall to serve at AIC Plainsview Church.  Join me in prayer for my time over there and how God will use this in my life and in the lives of those I meet!